Jersday Thursday!

Even though I have had this "blog" for all of five seconds... that doesn't stop me from feeling like Carrie Bradshaw from "Sex and the City".

Laptop:                         ✔
Insightful Advice:       Hmmm

Scratch that.


As fabulous as Carrie is, I am nothing like her. If you haven't noticed, I am not a blonde, chain-smoking, new yorker and sadly, I do not own one pair of louboutins. And yet, that is NOT what sets us apart the most. Our biggest difference is that she has hooked up with close to 100+ men. I'm no mathematician, but that's roughly 10x's as many people as I have in my entire life. And that was just in the first season!! How she managed to stay STD and pregnancy-free is beyond me. If there is one thing that "Teen Mom" has taught us, it's that... not everyone ends up with their Mr. Big. Amber will be the first to tell you that much. It's no surprise she's bat shit crazy-- poor girl is stuck with Gary for at least the next 18 years.

I'd hate to disappoint you, but in all actuality, I did not plan on devoting my first post to the unfortunate excuse of a television show our society likes to call "Teen Mom." I've already spent far too long mentioning the show as it is. You are in luck-- as a promise to myself, I will never mention "Teen Mom" again.


That's not to say I do not watch these mindless productions. By "these productions" I am referring to Teen Mom, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Jersey Shore...etc. Basically any dramatic, embarrassingly-addictive show that you hate to love and love to hate. Television vomit. These shows have consumed me many times and I have come to terms with my deep love for the Kardashian clan. You are not any less of a person for quoting "GTL" or shouting "Cabbbss Uhhh Hereeee" when you put on your shirt before the shirt. Don't feel guilty... everyone and their mother watches Jersey Shore. Hell, my mom has the entire season programmed to record on our DVR!! Heaven forbid we miss Snooki and Deanna getting "LeesssBeeeHonesst."

I've found that there are somethings we can learn to appreciate from the show:

• Within the first eight minutes of an episode, we can feel 10x's better about what's going on in our lives by just realizing that we don't have to wake up next to Ronnie.
• Great background noise. Because it helps me sleep at night? 
• We finally have a description for the short, tanned, girl wearing the zebra-print dress. "Whoa, check out Snooki over there!"
• The comic relief that occurs every time a tears falls down Sammi's face.

One thing I cannot appreciate is Mike "The Situation" going soft this season by expressing his love for Snooki. Am I really expected to condone that sort of behavior from a guy who's v-neck goes deeper than his personality?

We are 9 episodes deep on a 13 episode season. For the cast of Jersey Shore, that means they still have $400,000 to spend fist pumping at the tanning salon. For the rest of us, that simply serves as a reminder that we only have 4 episodes left until we need to find another way to feel better about our lives.

:)